What if my dreams change?
What if my goals, change?
What if the picture of my life that I’ve carried around for so long, changes?
What if I change?

We are more than the sum of our dreams. Just like we are more than the sum of our parts. The picture we have of our lives comes from the heart and is a byproduct of something infinite.

The dream is not the source. The soul is.

And just like there are infinite ways for the heart to be fully expressed, there are also infinite ways for the picture we have of our lives to be drawn. And even if that picture changes, which it undoubtedly will, the source remains the same.

Think of the vision for your life as a moving picture. A mosaic, alive and ever-evolving. New colors, depth, and texture come to the surface in every season. Never a blank canvas. Always transforming. Always one.

Never apart. Always a part.

And though these things be true, it does not mean the process of discovery is without its human processes.

The not-so-attractive elements of the human condition play a role in this evolution. Reassessing your dreams can feel terrifying. It can feel like your identity is being stripped away.

There is a temptation to compare where you are in life with the people close to you can leave you feeling like a failure. The temptation to compare where you are in life with the picture you had of what life would be like can leave you feeling even worse.

And, in my opinion, the most difficult thing is making sense of the storm of feelings and emotions, and then communicating them to yourself and the people who care for you…it’s virtually impossible.

Because just when you think you have a handle on what you’re feeling, it shifts. Just as you name an emotion, it changes.

Just as you finally start to make sense of the what, the why enters stage left, and you feel like you’re in the middle of a sold-out play on Broadway, and much to your horror, you’ve forgotten all of your lines.

I wanted to be a writer.
I wanted to be a motivator.
I wanted to be an advocate.
I wanted to be an artist.
I wanted to be a creative.
I wanted to be a partner.
I wanted to be a traveler.
I wanted to be a high-powered business lady.
I wanted to be an NYT bestselling author.
I wanted to be a professor.

I wanted to be so many things that – now – I wonder if I still want to be them.

Did I want to be those things because it was my default response for so long?

Did I convince myself they HAD to be true? Did I condition myself to want these things? Or do I still really want them?

But, most importantly…

Is there a way for me to test if even still want these things, without actually doing the things themselves?

Is there a way to see if I really want to be a writer – without writing?
Is there a way to see if I really want to be a motivator, without speaking?
Is there a way to see if I want to be an advocate, without being with the people and listening to their needs?
Is there a way to know if I want to be an artist, without creating?
Is there a way to be a partner, without caring for the people in my life well?
Is there a way to see if I want to be a high-powered business lady, without taking risks and growing my book of business?
Is there a way of seeing if I still want to be an NYT bestselling author without writing books?
Is there a way to see if I still want to be a professor, without teaching?

Like – is there a Facebook quiz? A questionnaire? An all-knowing soul that can see through mine, and call forth the deep wisdom there? Cause – that would be freakin’ great.

Maybe there’s an assessment that can tell me if my dreams are still mine. That would save me a lot of time – ya know?

I do find it interesting that while there are infinite pictures we can dream of, there are so many that we never have.

For instance, I’ve never dreamed of being a mayor. I’ve never dreamed of being a farmer. I’ve never dreamed of building rocket ships or going into space. I’ve never dreamed of being a doctor. I’ve never wanted to be a race car driver or an electrician. I’ve never wanted to own a daycare or design custom furniture.

There are realities I’ve never desired. Possibilities I’ve never attempted to reach for.

And not because I don’t believe they’re possible for me…but because they just don’t call to me in the same way other things have.

And maybe that’s part of it.

Sensing what calls to us. Not necessarily what we’ve reached for in the past.

Recognizing the difference between what interests pass through our gaze, and what draws it in.

Taking note of what resonates with our eternal essence. And why.

Maybe those are the kinds of questions that we can answer next.

Maybe those questions we are meant to spend a lifetime answering.

Maybe that’s the gift.

That’s life. That’s the human experience. The process of continual self-discovery and regeneration.

Each winter, after the leaves fall in a blaze of glory, we bear witness to trees that have shed their masks. And what do they do? They dance. They bear the weight of soft snow, and they know deep in their core, that spring will come again – even in the midst of the storm. They bend. They break. They grow. They allow.

We ask ourselves…

What if my dreams change?
What if my goals change?
What if the picture I have of my life, changes?

What if I change?

Well, to that I say, good.

That just means, all is as it should be.

Shed your masks. Dance. Believe that Spring will come again. Bend. Allow. Grow.

You are not broken. You are not wrong. You are not a failure. You are not “other”.

YOU ARE.

And boy, is this world blessed because of it.

Need a listening ear? I’d love to navigate your self-discovery journey with you. Click here to schedule time with me or check out more ways for us to connect here.

Big love to you, friend.